A Letter to Shonda Rhimes
greysaddictj

Shonda,

I'm disappointed. You took Callie and Arizona, a couple who you often claimed were "made for each other," and tore them apart.

You may say, "it's not real, feel free to stop watching if you don't like it." I am fully aware that these are characters, and I frown upon the crazies that threaten you and your actors when they don't like a storyline. I know it's not real. But you know what is real? The struggle and the fight that LGBT couples go through on a daily basis to be free from discrimination. You know what else is real? The fact that in many places in our country, we're still fighting for marriage equality and the right to live with the acceptance that Callie and Arizona enjoy on screen from their friends and colleagues. They are one of the very few LGBT couples on a prime time tv show. They are something we can aspire to. Something we can identify with. And you just sullied it for the sake of some cheap drama.

You may say you're treating them equally, that straight and gay couples are equal in their troubles and their triumphs. That may be true, and I fight with my girlfriend just like a straight couple would. However, when you write a character in a way that is completely incongruent with their actions of the past 5 seasons, it's hard to swallow. This was out-of-the-blue and out-of-character. If this was the last minute change to the finale that you're so proud about talking of, I'd think again. There's nothing to be proud about when your writing is lazy. Again, you may say, "if you don't like it, stop watching." Funny, I bet you wouldn't dare alienate Mer/Der fans this way. Because, let's face it, Shonda, TV is a business after all. If enough of us stop watching, you're out of a job.

You may say, "this isn't out-of-character, it's PTSD. I've done a lot of reading and people act differently than they would've before." Fine, Shonda. Unlike you, I'm not going to claim to be an expert on the subject. But this feels like a cop out to me. True, Arizona's been through hell. But, through YOUR writing decisions, she has been getting better. Overcoming. Feeling better about herself. You may say she just swept her feelings under the rug for Callie's sake. I don't buy it. You decided you needed some extra hype leading into Season 10, so you changed a character's 5 year history in the course of 2 episodes. You have morphed Arizona into someone who chooses to destroy her family, betray her wife and daughter out of vanity. The first person who flirts with her can get her to break her vows to a wife who's already been to hell and back with her? To betray a wife whom it took her over half a season to be comfortable sleeping with again? And yet it took her all of a day or two to get naked with a near stranger? So what part of the PTSD exactly made her shy around her wife and a cheating slut around a newcomer? It doesn't jive, Shonda.

You may say, "it can't be all fairy tales or it'll get boring. It's a drama after all." You're right. It is a drama and there has to be conflict or it gets old. But that doesn't mean creating drama for drama's sake, in a way that completely betrays and destroys the characters you've created. Don't tell me you couldn't come up with another reason to create conflict between Callie and Arizona. You've managed to keep Mer/Der together for seasons on end while still bringing the drama. They've had rough patches. You know what they haven't had? Infidelity. Why? Because no one would believe it. If they are MFEO like you claim Callie and Arizona are, why do they get the pass? There are plenty of other dramatic stories you could've told.

I'm still going to tune in, because as much as I hate what you just did to us, Shonda, you've still created a show that I love and characters that I care about. But I'm disappointed, Shonda. We, as fans, are not asking for perfection, Shonda. We're not asking for rainbows and butterflies. We're asking for you to write your characters honestly. And you've let us down.

-J

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Unexpected Song 2/?
greysaddictj

Title:  Unexpected Song 2/?

Author:  GreysAddictJ

Pairing: Callie/Arizona

Rating:  M/NC-17 (for later chapters)

Disclaimer:  The characters are not mine.  No infringement intended.  Also, I don’t use a beta, so all mistakes are mine.

Summary:  A/U – Arizona Robbins is a veteran musical theater composer with several Tonys to her name.  But after a series of flops, she’s in serious need of a hit.  Can rookie composer Callie Torres be the key to her success?  Both hope for a hit, but discover that working together inspires more than just beautiful music.  It’s also a loose modern retelling of one of my favorite novels.  See if you catch on.



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Unexpected Song 1/?
greysaddictj

Title:  Unexpected Song 1/?

Author:  GreysAddictJ

Pairing: Callie/Arizona

Rating:  M/NC-17 (for later chapters)

Disclaimer:  The characters are not mine.  No infringement intended.  Also, I don’t use a beta, so all mistakes are mine.

Summary:  A/U – Arizona Robbins is a veteran musical theater composer with several Tonys to her name.  But after a series of flops, she’s in serious need of a hit.  Can rookie composer Callie Torres be the key to her success?  Both hope for a hit, but discover that working together inspires more than just beautiful music.  It’s also a loose modern retelling of one of my favorite novels.  See if you catch on.

A/N:  I swear I had this idea way before “Smash” was around.  Just never got around to writing it.


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To My Fellow Fangirls
greysaddictj
After spending what was possibly one of the best weekends of my life in LA last weekend, I felt the need to write a little something.  I'm kind of shy and introverted, at least at first and in person.  It sometimes makes it hard to find like-minded people and close friends.  I've got my tightknit group of close friends, who I've known for over half my life.  However, even with them, I can't really be myself.  I can't gush about one of my favorite things - Grey's (and by extension Sara).  And while they may know I love Grey's, they don't know how I really feel, who my favorite couple is, or how Sara turns me into a puddle of goo.  I've lived my life as straight - and to some extent I am.  It was through Calzona and Sara that I realized that I was much more in the middle of the orientation spectrum than I'd thought.  Because frankly, Sara would not do the things she does to me if I were 100% straight.  But I can't talk about it with my friends and family.  At least not yet.  But when I'm with my fellow fangirls, I feel like I can be 100% me.  There are no facades, no walls, my guard can be down.   I just wanted to thank you for giving me that freedom, for letting me be me, the real me.  And for not judging.  I love you guys and miss you already!

Who knows, one day, I may meet my Callie or Arizona and I'll take the plunge and be the "real" me all the time.  Or maybe I'll meet my McDreamy instead. But until then, I know that I've got a great group of friends and I'm really thankful to have met you all.  Okay, done with my corny ramblings.  Back to the usual snarky, sarcastic, inappropriate me.

Love you guys!
-Jenny

Kiss Me, I'm Irish 1/1
greysaddictj

Title:  Kiss Me, I’m Irish

Author:  GreysAddictJ

Pairing: Callie/Arizona

Rating:  PG-13

Disclaimer:  The characters are not mine.  No infringement intended.  Also, I don’t use a beta, so all mistakes are mine.

Summary:  St. Patrick’s Day Fluff.  Callie hates St. Patrick’s Day.  Arizona makes it better.  Stuff happens.  Sorry this is up post-holiday – got wrapped up in all the Grey’s Benefit Concert stuff this past weekend.


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The Big Bang Theory 1/1
greysaddictj
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By the Numbers 1/1
greysaddictj

Title:  By the Numbers 1/1

Author:  GreysAddictJ

Pairing: Callie/Arizona

Rating:  PG-13

Disclaimer:  The characters are not mine.  No infringement intended.  Also, I don’t use a beta, so all mistakes are mine.

Summary:  What if it had been Arizona who’d made the Valentine’s Day plans?  A new spin on episode 8.14.  No trailers, no “camping,” just some cheesy mindless Valentine’s Day fluff.


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Covert Affairs 18/18
greysaddictj

Title:  Covert Affairs 18/18

Author:  GreysAddictJ

Pairing: Callie/Arizona

Rating:  NC-17/M

Disclaimer:  The characters are not mine.  No infringement intended.  Also, I don’t use a beta, so all mistakes are mine.

Summary:  A/U – Callie Torres is a badass.  A professional badass.  As a spy working for the United States government, it is her job to protect the American people from threats that they don’t even know exist.  She’s awesome at her job.  Focused and in control.  Except when it comes to the mysterious blonde she needs to help her with her most dangerous mission yet.

*                *                *                *                *


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Girl Scouts 1/1
greysaddictj
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Covert Affairs 17/?
greysaddictj

Title:  Covert Affairs 17/?

Author:  GreysAddictJ

Pairing: Callie/Arizona

Rating:  NC-17/M

Disclaimer:  The characters are not mine.  No infringement intended.  Also, I don’t use a beta, so all mistakes are mine.

Summary:  A/U – Callie Torres is a badass.  A professional badass.  As a spy working for the United States government, it is her job to protect the American people from threats that they don’t even know exist.  She’s awesome at her job.  Focused and in control.  Except when it comes to the mysterious blonde she needs to help her with her most dangerous mission yet.

*                *                *                *                *

 “Going somewhere, Calliope?”  Paolo said, with absolutely no trace of his former charming manner.  His voice was cold, calculated, and completely calm.  It sent shivers down Callie’s spine.  This was not going to end well.

Before they knew what was happening, there were goons on either side of them, roughly grabbing them by the arms and shoving them down the long hallway.  Callie looked over at Arizona and they locked eyes for just a moment.  It was a look of fear, of caring, of determination all mixed in one.  They’d figure this out.  Or so she hoped.

They shoved them forcefully into a room at the end of the hallway.  Paolo came into the room, standing near the doorway with his arms crossed.  There was no trace of his former gentlemanly manner.  His thugs held each woman in place, on their knees on the cold concrete floor of the room.

Callie swallowed hard and tried to steal a glance at Arizona to see if she was all right.  She’d been in plenty of sticky situations before, but this was by far the worst.  She just prayed not only that they’d get out alive, but that they’d find a way to stop this terrible attack.  There was no way she’d ever forgive herself if she lived, but at the expense of thousands of lives.  And if she couldn’t make it out, she hoped that at least Arizona would.  As much as she tried to deny it, as much as she felt hurt and betrayed, she couldn’t avoid the fact that she cared for the woman.  Deeply.  And her life mattered to her.

Paolo stepped towards Callie, towering over her as she kneeled on the floor.  The sight made Arizona sick.  She felt so helpless, on so many levels.

Paolo smiled at Callie, but it wasn’t the charming, if sleazy smile of old.  It was . . . she didn’t know what to call it exactly, but it sent shivers down her spine.  “So, Calliope.  Are you going to tell me what you two are doing here?”

Callie tried to play innocent, though she didn’t have high hopes for success.  “We got lost, Paolo.  I don’t know what in the hell is going on here, but I don’t appreciate being manhandled.  I’m sorry if we’ve gotten in the way, but if you’ll just let us go and arrange a ride back into town, we’ll be out of your hair.”

Paolo laughed, a sinister tone to his chuckle.  “Nice try, Calliope, but I am not that stupid.  Now why are you here?  Who do you work for?  Just tell me and we can make things much, much easier for you.”

“Like hell I will.”  Callie said, anger lacing her voice.

Arizona watched this exchange, wishing she could go over there and set Paolo in his place.  At the same time, she couldn’t fail to notice how damn sexy Callie was when being defiant.  But now was not the time for such thoughts.  There was so much more at stake.

Paolo reached down, running a stubby finger across Callie’s jawline and down her neck towards her breasts.  “It’s clear you weren’t really here because you were interested in me.  It’s a shame I never got to sample your . . .” He looked down at her cleavage, “goods,” he continued after a pause to ogle her.  “Perhaps I’ll give them a try now.”   He said.

Arizona saw red.  She’d never been so furious in her life.  With a strength she didn’t know she possessed, she broke free from the grip of the man holding her.  “Over my dead body.”  She shouted as she ran up and kicked Paolo in the groin.  No sooner had she done so than one of the henchmen had struck her across the knee with a lead pipe.  She gasped and opened her mouth to let out a groan of pain, but nothing came out.   She saw stars as she crumpled to the ground.

Paolo, who had been hunched over with pain of his own, had recovered enough to speak.  “You’ll regret that, Ms. Robbins.  It’s all well and good to try and protect your girlfriend, but you’d better start thinking about yourself and your own well being.”

Shock registered on Callie’s face, which Paolo picked up on.

“Yes.  I knew you two were involved.  I may not have known the extent of your deceit, but let’s just say that you weren’t quiet enough with your bedroom exploits.  I’ll leave you two alone to think about what the wise, what the right decision is.  Perhaps you’ll come to your senses.  And if not . . . well, I have ways of making people talk.”  He offered them a creepy smile before he and his goons left the room.

As soon as they were alone, Callie rushed to Arizona’s side.  “Are you okay?  Let me take a look.”  Callie said.

As Callie gently rolled up Arizona’s pant leg, Arizona sucked in a harsh intake of breath.  Whether it was from the pain, which was bordering on unbearable, or the feel of Callie’s warm skin against her own, which was also . . . unbearable, it was hard to tell.

Callie winced as she saw Arizona’s knee, which was already swelling and beginning to turn a nasty shade of purple.  It couldn’t be good.  “I’m so sorry, Arizona.”  She said, almost in a whisper.  “I wish there were something I could do.  Ice, medicine, a doctor.  Anything.  I . . . And you did it for me  . . .”

Arizona placed a staying hand on Callie’s arm.  She swallowed hard, trying to ignore the throbbing in her knee.  “It’s okay.  I’d do it again.  I’d do anything for you, Calliope.”  Arizona rasped, her voice laden with pain.  “But right now, we can’t focus on that.  You can focus on this.  You need to find a way to get us out of here.  I have to admit I’m not thinking very clearly.  Calliope, you need to get us out of here.”

Callie looked into Arizona’s deep blue eyes, which were slightly glazed over from the pain.  She couldn’t think of adequate words, so she swallowed hard and nodded.  She got up and began to pace back and forth.  After a moment, she tried the door handle.  It was locked tightly, which was no surprise.  She jiggled it in frustration.  She had the key that Alex had given them, but unfortunately, there was no keyhole on this side of the door.  She then pulled a hairpin out of her raven locks and used the lock picking training she’d received.  No luck.

She continued to pace, sighing as she wracked her brain for a solution.  She felt absolutely helpless.  Trapped, with the lives of thousands on the line.  Arizona lying in pain across the room, and nothing Callie could do to fix it.  And worst of all, she’d made a critical mistake.  She’d been so caught up in the drama with Arizona, in the need for haste, that she’d neglected to check in with headquarters.  Not only did they not know the extent of what was going on, they had no idea that the attack was coming soon, or that Callie and Arizona were making one last ditch effort to prevent it.  The US was going to be blindsided.  Her stomach churned with that realization.  If she didn’t stop it, no one would.

Arizona leaned back against the wall of the room.  She struggled to breathe, the pain was so intense.  She wanted so badly to help Callie come up with a solution, but none sprung to mind.  When her thoughts weren’t on her knee, or on their present predicament, they landed on her brother.   Her heart ached.  She knew he hadn’t been involved in this plot.  She just knew it.  And the ache inside her grew even deeper, knowing she might lose him all over again just after she’d discovered he was still alive.  She still remembered how her heart had broken into a million pieces when Tim’s best friend Travis, who was on his Seal team, had come to break the news that Tim was missing and presumed dead.  She didn’t know if she could live through losing him all over again.

Callie had given up and came to sit next to Arizona.  “I’m sorry.”  She whispered.

“It’s okay.”  Arizona managed through the pain.  “I’m not surprised we’re stuck in here.  It’d be too easy if you could just break us out that simply.”

“That’s not what I meant.”  Callie said.

“What do you mean then?”  Arizona asked.

“I’m sorry I reacted the way I did when you ran off.”   Callie said, looking down at her hands.

“You had every right to be angry with me.  I compromised the mission.”  Arizona said.  Even though it hurt her that their budding relationship had been shattered, she understood Callie’s feelings.

“Yes, I know I was right to be angry in that moment.  But I’ve been so caught up in that anger that I didn’t stop to think about where you were coming from.  I can’t even imagine, really.  I mean, I think if my sister were ever in the same situation I’d probably react the same way.  Granted, the scariest situation Aria is ever likely to face is a store not carrying the latest Dolce and Gabbana design in her size.  We’re not close.  Not really anyway.  And I’d still face a tough call if it was her in that cell.  So I’m sorry if I seemed unfeeling.”  Callie swallowed hard.  While she figured their romantic relationship was probably done, the least she could do was repair the friendship they had.

“It’s okay.  In any event, it makes no difference.  We’re stuck in here . . . and Tim . . . well.  You saw that email.  I don’t believe it was him, but maybe I’m biased.   I just wish . . .”  Arizona’s words were cut off as she shifted slightly to get more comfortable.  She immediately gasped in pain as she unintentionally moved her swollen knee.

Callie turned towards her, a concerned look on her face.  “I just wish there were something I could do for you to make this all better.  You got hurt because of me.  Defending me.  Without thinking, Callie reached up and stroked Arizona’s cheek.

Arizona closed her eyes and let out a small sigh, allowing herself just a moment to savor the comforting touch of Callie’s skin upon hers.  Then she opened them.  She pondered for a moment, chewing her lip slightly as she debated whether to ask.  Finally, she broke down.  “There is one thing you could do.”

“What’s that?”  Callie asked.  “Anything.”

“Hold me?”  Arizona asked sheepishly.

Callie nodded and scooted closer, careful not to bump Arizona’s leg.  She wrapped her arms around Arizona and snuggled her close.  Both women closed their eyes briefly, taking in the comforting familiar feeling of being near each other.  The scent, the touch, the security.

Arizona opened her eyes and found Callie staring intently at her.  Before either registered what was happening, their lips met.  It was a soft, tender kiss.  There was no urgency, no promise of passion, of lust.  It was slow and lingering as they explored each other.  In that moment, it was what they both needed.  It was comfort.  Arizona shuddered with relief at the embrace.  She’d missed this – the taste of Calliope, the smell of Calliope, the touch of Calliope.  She’d never felt more at home.  For just a moment, she forgot her pain, forgot their terrible situation.

Callie allowed herself just a few moments to savor their kiss, to lose herself.  After all, they were going nowhere fast.  As much as she’d tried to wall off her heart, to protect herself from this woman, she couldn’t do it.  Arizona Robbins was immune to all her defenses.

Their interlude was interrupted by a sound outside the door.  They looked up at the door.   It took several moments before the door swung open, as if the person on the other side was trying multiple keys.  When it finally opened, Alex walked in.

“What the?”  Callie asked.

“You’ve got to get out of here, NOW.”  Alex said in a whisper.  “Paolo and company took a break to have dinner.  You need to get out now before they come back.”

Callie sprung to her feet.  “How did you get past the security?”  She asked.

Alex shrugged.  “I have my ways.  Nothing a little bribery and brute force can’t take care of.”

Callie stuck her head out into the hallway and noticed one of Paolo’s thugs in a heap on the ground, legs and arms bound.  She raised an eyebrow at Alex.  “Didn’t know you had it in you, Alex.”

Alex shrugged again and responded nonchalantly.  “He and I may have had a little disagreement.”

Callie chuckled.  “Okay.  Remind me to thank you later, Alex.  Right now, you need to help me with Arizona.”

“Why?”  He asked, eying Arizona, who was still sitting on the floor.

“She got roughed up pretty good.  I doubt she can walk.  At least well.”  Callie replied.

Arizona nodded, feeling like a useless piece of dead weight.  She took a deep breath and spoke.  “Leave me here.  I’m just going to hold you back.  Get out, Calliope.”

“Like hell I am.”  Callie said as she bent down to help Arizona up.  She smiled at her, locking gazes with those damn entrancing blue eyes.  “Besides, we have a mission to complete.”

They hurried down the hallway as fast as they could travel, Arizona propped between them.  Once they were outside the computer room again, Arizona leaned against Alex as she worked her magic on the lock.

This time Callie was prepared.  She entered swiftly, making short work of Ray.  She decked him across the face with a nasty right hook and watched in satisfaction as he crumped to the ground.  After helping Arizona to the chair in front of the mainframe computer, she and Alex bound and gagged the nerd.

Arizona’s hands flew across the keys, working faster than she’d ever worked before.  In short order she found a contact list of all of the terrorists set to release the deadly virus.  She pulled a small thumb drive out of her cleavage, taking a moment to thank her lucky stars that Paolo hadn’t searched her there.  In no time, the information was loaded onto the drive.  Now she just had to figure out a way to disable the missile .

When she finally found the security program that controlled access to the missile, her involvement in this mission finally became clear.  This is why they insisted on her participation.  She had written this program, often considered unhackable.  Unimpeachable.  Unimpregnable.  She had no idea on earth how this terrorist cell had gotten a hold of her software.  But she didn’t have time to question that right now.  If there was one person who could find a way to access the missile’s controls without the proper credentials, it was her.

Callie paced back and forth, her eyes never leaving Arizona.  It was captivating to watch her work.  The way her fingers flew across the keys as if she were playing a musical instrument, the way she occasionally let out a little sigh of frustration, the way she’d brush a rogue lock of golden hair back behind her ear.  Callie knew it was a risk.  She knew her trust had been shattered.  But she swore, if she ever got out of this alive, she’d try and make things right with Arizona.  Try to make things work.  This woman was far more special than she’d ever bargained for.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, she was in.  Arizona let out a sigh of relief.  “I think I’ve got it.”  She whispered.  “Just pray I’m right.”

Callie swallowed hard and nodded.  Alex looked on in anticipation.

“If I’m right, entering this last command should shut off the bomb.  Then all I’ve got to do is upload a nasty computer virus that will fry the computer’s hard drive.  By the time things are up and running again, I’m sure headquarters can arrange a way to shut this place down for good.  However . . . if I’m wrong.  God only knows . . .”  Arizona let out a deep sigh before proceeding.

Suddenly a loud alarm sounded and a countdown clock appeared on the screen.

“Shit!”  Arizona said.

“What is it?”  Callie asked, though that countdown did not give her much hope.

“I was able to dismantle the missile launch system, but now it’s saying this whole place is set to blow in 5 minutes.  These crazies must have a death wish.  Success or die trying.  Now that someone’s thwarted their plans, they’re just going to blow up their whole compound.  We’ve got to get out of here.”

Wasting no time, Callie and Alex each threw one of Arizona’s arms round their shoulders and headed from the room.

“I’ve got my truck waiting outside that door at the end of the hallway.”  Alex said.

Practically at a run, they made it to the door in less than a minute.

As they exited the building, Arizona hesitated and then sank to the ground.  Callie knew what she was thinking.  Tim. 

Arizona was overcome with sobs at once.  She knew there was no way to help Tim now.  There was no way to save him in time.  She’d let him down.  And she’d never forgive herself.

Arizona felt Callie’s hand on her shoulder.  She looked up into those chocolate brown eyes, wiping streaks of tears from her face.  “I know he’s innocent, Calliope.  I just know it.   It’s because . . . because . . .” She struggled to find an adequate explanation.  It was on the tip of her tongue, but she just couldn’t come up with it.

Callie looked at Alex.  “Take care of her for me.”

“Calliope . . . no.”  Arizona pleaded.  As much as she’d wanted to save Tim, she knew it was a death sentence to go back in.

“Let me do this.  Arizona.  We don’t have time to argue.  Just know that . . . know that I love you.  You take that to heart.  Remember that.  Remember me.”  And with that Callie ran back into the building.

“Noooooo!!!”  Arizona screamed between gut wrenching sobs.

Alex gently picked her up, ignoring her fists as they pounded his back, and carried her to the truck.

They watched the door of the compound intently.

Arizona felt as though she were awaiting her own execution.  Her heart, her entire world was inside that building.

Suddenly, there was an earth-shattering blast, debris, heat, and fire bursting forth.   Arizona wailed against Alex’s shoulder.   She’d just lost everything.  Callie, in a last act of love, in an act of trust – something Arizona had so recently thrown away, was now dead. 

Calliope Torres, the love of her life was dead.  And all because she’d gone against her better judgment and trusted her.


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